 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: This sounds like an etiquette problem, but to me it feels more like a boundary issue. I've been with my wife for almost 20 years — we're both women — and I also have a friendship with another woman that predates my knowing my wife. "Nancy" is straight and married. In those early years, Nancy met my wife a few times, and they were both cordial but did not really hit it off. We moved away, and my only contact with Nancy since then has been the occasional letter. Last year, however, I received a Christmas card from Nancy and my wife noted it was addressed to me, not to both of us or "& family." She felt this was disrespectful, whereas I hadn't given it any thought, which also bothered her. My wife didn't ask me to do anything about this, but I'm uncomfortable that she found my response inadequate. I had no explanation other than the truth as I saw it: "I don't think it was an intentional slight." I'm feeling equally uncomfortable, however, at the prospect of asking a friend to address her next Christmas card to us as a couple so she doesn't inadvertently annoy my wife, a woman she hasn't seen or talked to in decades. I have some friendships where I could broach this quite frankly, but this is not one of them. I'm really at a loss as to the right course of action. — Caught in the Middle | 
